Lovetropolis.com - Advice Center

First Dating Tips: How to Have Fun on a Big Date

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 00:00:00 GMT

By Ann Marier

Okay, the guy you've been crushing on forever just called and asked you out. You want the night to be perfect. Follow these first dating tips to have a wonderful, safe time.

First Dating Tip #1: Clarify the Details

When you hear the words "big date," you may be thinking formal gowns and tuxedos. Your guy may be thinking dinner and a movie. So clarify what you're going to do and what kind of dress code is expected.

First Dating Tip #2: It's All in the Attitude

Many girls would do anything to snag that first date, even if it means agreeing to going rock climbing when their idea of a hard workout is changing the channel on the television set. These dates often end with everyone in a bad mood. If you've agreed to an activity you don't really like, be a good sport about it. You might have fun. At the very least, you can get to a second date by saying, "Next time, we'll have to try something I'm good at."

First Dating Tip #3: Communicate

Girls tend to get chatty when they're nervous; guys tend to clam up. Girls usually spill their deepest secrets in fifteen seconds or less; guys may never spill them at all. On the first date, keep the conversation light. Try to make sure you each do about fifty percent of the talking. If he's playing the strong, silent type, try to get him speaking by asking about his interests. Use open ended questions. "Did you like the movie?" can be answered with a “yes” or a “no”. "What did you like best about the movie?" requires a little more.

First Dating Tip #4: Stay Sober

Sure, alcohol lubricates the tongue; but a lubricated tongue can say things that make you want to curl up and die when you think back on them the next morning. More importantly, being sober can keep you safe. Up to ninety percent of date rapes occur when one or more of the parties have been drinking.

First Dating Tip #5: Follow Up

If you had a nice time, do something the next day to let the guy know. E-mail, text message, phone or send him a nice note. Thank him for a nice time and suggest another activity you could do together. For instance: "Loved watching the football game with you. Are you up for basketball next week?" Guys often aren't sure what to do after a first date, and this kind of follow up points him in the right direction.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com

Better Online Dating Tips

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 00:00:00 GMT

By Christopher Buckley

Online dating is a great opportunity to expand your dating choices and meet new people. Even though a wide-spread stereotype is that dating websites are an arena for the desperate, they are actually effective way to meet other singles.

You might just be too busy to go out and meet people; you might just want to expand your social horizons. Or you may have just recently moved to a new town and haven't had time to make friends. Whatever your reasons might be, an online dating service may offer you a fresh start.

However, as with any other social experience, it can also go worse than expected. This article is aimed at providing you with some better online dating tips to ensure you will make the best of this experience.

Flirting

The key to getting what you want from an online dating service is flirting. Although some of you may think you cannot do it, it's actually much simpler than in face-to-face conversation. All you need to do is learn about the different kinds of online flirting approaches, pick one that works for you, and put it into practice.

Simple conversation

Online dating is generally carried out through chat or e-mail. A very useful better online dating tip is to keep your answers simple, short and sweet. Don't write endless messages with deep meanings. It is safer to keep a light-hearted and upbeat tone. This has proven to attract more successful online dates. Ask questions in a simple and easy to answer manner; and keep your answers simple, too.

Screen names & Emoticons

Use screen names in your written conversation, not your real name. Find a screen name that you like and feel confident using. Emoticons are also nice, but they may become annoying or seem insincere if you use them excessively.

Self-confidence

Using a self-confident tone in your conversations is another better online dating tip. Self-confidence is an attractive characteristic. If you like yourself, others will like you, too. However, be careful not to cross the line and seem too full of yourself.

Humor

Humor is also an appealing feature that can lighten up a conversation. If you have a good sense of humor, use it with confidence. Humor used with taste will always be appreciated.

Compliments

Everyone loves a compliment; that's a fact. Surprising your date with genuine and sincere compliments is a great better online dating tip. If you receive a compliment yourself, don't forget to say, "Thank you!"

Enticers

Among the most useful better online dating tips are enticers used in your e-mail communications. You can try the classic pick-up lines, or make up your own. However, keep them light and inviting so that you sound cute, interested and sincere, but not too pushy. This will certainly help you make a good impression.

Just following these simple better online dating tips will help you become a flirting master sooner than you expected and will ultimately get you that successful date you've been waiting for.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com

First Date - What to Do?

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 00:00:00 GMT

By Pinky Pleasure

If you have a crowd of fans looking to date you, then you do not need to waste your time reading this article. But, if not, maybe you have something to learn from this article, which provides some tips on what to do and not to do on a first date.

What to wear? Unless you have to go to the Monte Carlo Rose Ball, you should not exaggerate. Coco Chanel’s saying, "Take off something before going out" is still true. If you’re having dinner in a quiet place, do not overdo it. Do not overdress. If you like a very short skirt, avoid wearing a sexy shirt. If you are not used to high heels, your first date is not the time to practice. If you go directly on your date from the office, refresh your deodorant and perfume in the restroom.

Forget your former partners. This is your first date with a new person. Talking about former partners during a first date is irritating and depressing. It highlights a sad reality: you are obsessed with your past. The person in front of you will get bored and, probably, annoyed. Instead, ask questions about what he likes to do, to eat, to read. Look for common interests.

Do not feel the need to lie to gain trust. Do not lie about your age. If you are 38 years old, do not say you are 28. If you are an executive assistant, do not say you are an executive. Your date will not look kindly on you if, after some time, he realizes that you lied; you may lose his trust.

What to talk about? Do not discuss political issues, economic topics, the current crisis or your problems at work. This is a quite sad period in history, and people are looking for happiness and fun. So enjoy your date and have fun.

Talk about you but also listen to him. The man sitting across the table is on a date with you; that means he wants to know you better, know more about your interests, ideas and your personality. He does not want to know about something he already knows quite well, such as recent trends of the stock market. He does not want to know about the love relationships of your colleagues. He wants to know about you. Remember to spend time listening and showing interest; ask some questions.

Imbibing. If you partake in an alcoholic beverage, do not drink too much; you don’t want to get to the point that you forget the name of the man sitting at the table with you. If you do not typically drink alcohol, this is not the time to start. It is possible to have fun and enjoy your date without drinking.

Forget your blackberry or your cell phone. If your cell phone rings, answer only if you must, but do not spend all evening talking on the phone. If your mother calls you, call her back later. If you receive a message on your blackberry, it is better not to read it. Usually emails and sms’s are not urgent; you can read them later.

Lastly, offer to pay the bill or, at the very least, the tip. Be sure this gesture is spontaneous and genuine.

Article Source: http://amazines.com

Breaking the Ice on a First Date

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 00:00:00 GMT

By Rodrigo Rehn

There is nothing worse than being on a first date and finding that neither of you knows how to get the conversation going. Just because you can't seem to find something to talk about doesn't mean that there isn't a spark between the two of you. It just means that you are both nervous! Instead of having another date of awkward silent moments, learn how to break the ice, taking things into your own hands.

To get things started you can talk about how excited you were to meet the person and go out. This will allow both of you to open up about your excitement, get over the nervousness and get the conversation rolling.

You can also use the typical conversation starters to break the ice. Ask your date what they do for a living, what their hobbies are, or if they have previously visited the restaurant or venue that you are currently at. You can then share your information on these topics and you may find that conversation simply continues from here as you each share little tidbits of information about one another along the way.

Share a joke or a funny experience. Be sure that it is a relatively clean joke, just so you don't start off the date by offending them. Be sure that it is something that is quite funny as there is nothing worse than telling your date a joke that they won't laugh at. Jokes and funny experiences often get you both laughing and the nerves will go right out the window.

Take a deep breath! We often come to a first date with really huge expectations. If you feel that the tension and the expectations are just too much to bear take a deep breath and remember that you have nothing to lose by being on the date. If your date also seems to be tense, tell them to relax to, and to concentrate on having fun instead of worrying about how the date is going. This will often allow you to both sort of change gears and remember that dating is supposed to be fun!

If all else fails, bring up how the two of you met. Recount this meeting together. If you are on a blind date share experiences about the person that you have in common. This is yet another way to get conversation started that will lead to more and more conversation, and before you know it you will be having a good time and those uncomfortable moments will be long forgotten.

Article Source: www.articlefree4all.com

What is “Love at First Sight”?

Fri, 02 Apr 2010 00:00:00 GMT

By Emily Heart

Is “love at first sight” real? Could it happen to you? If you are hoping to experience this age-old phenomenon while dating, read on to find out more about what it means. You’ll also learn how to tell if you might have experienced love at first sight when you initially met your dating partner, and whether you should even aim for lightning bolts when dating or simply relax and go with the flow.

Where does the idea of “love at first sight” come from?

The concept of “love at first sight” is thought to have originated in the classical world, where it meant an intense, passionate love delivered by the mythological character Cupid via his arrows when a person beheld the object of his or her affections for the first time. The Greeks described it as “madness from the gods” and also came up with the idea of “love sickness”, a feeling of overwhelming longing and desire, arising when one of Cupid’s arrows pierces the heart.

What we believe now.

These days, while we may not imagine Cupid to be so intimately involved in our choice of dating partners, many of us still hold true to romantic ideas of “the one” – the idea that there is one perfect partner for everyone – and to the notion that for some people it is clear who this one perfect partner is from the moment they set eyes on him or her. But are these concepts based in reality? Or are they just wishful thinking? And how helpful are they when it comes to navigating today’s dating scene?

What is happening with “love at first sight”?

According to research, the intoxicating sensation of “love at first sight” can, in fact, be explained in a scientific way as a response of the ego to social signals. A major aspect of the experience is thought to be that our narcissistic side responds powerfully to the notion that someone is attracted to us.

Along with being attracted to a person’s appearance, it is possible to tell, almost instantly due to minute changes in body language, if he or she is interested in you and affected by that, too. Studies have shown that, on a very basic level, we are attracted to people who are attracted to us; and this is a major factor when choosing dating partners.

“When will waiting for ‘the one’... be done?”

As this quote from fictional love and dating expert Carrie in Sex and the City illustrates, for many the concept of “the one” is unhelpful; and the idea of “love at first sight” can be, as well. If you are unsatisfied with anything but lightning bolts and absolute certainty from the offset that you and the person you are dating are a perfect match, you may reject endless perfectly good dating partners and never find a life partner at all.

In these circumstances it would, arguably, be better for those who want to share a life with someone to ignore ideas of “love at first site” and “the one” when dating, in favor of a more practical approach: “I can see myself being very happy with this person.” In the end, it’s up to the individual to decide.

Article Source: http://www.articlesnare.com

Eleven Steps to Fighting Fair

Fri, 26 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

By Vanessa Million

In most relationships, people have some disagreements. This does not mean the relationship is over; it only means you have a different point of view. It doesn’t have to mean you don’t love each other! When you have an argument or problem follow these steps to fight fairly:

· Negotiate a time to talk about it that is convenient for both of you. Stop having difficult conversations when you’re both very angry and tired. Try asking, "When is a good time for you to talk? Something is bothering me." Healthy relationships are based on respect and have room for both.

· Don’t criticize. Attack the issue, not your partner. Open the conversation with sensitive "I" statements. Talk about how you’re struggling with the issue. Don’t open with "you" statements and blame your partner. It’s imperative that you don’t blame your partner for your thoughts and feelings. Healthy loving relationships don’t blame.

· Don’t assign feelings or motives. Let others speak for themselves. You are not a mind reader. In healthy relationships each person has the right to explain him or herself.

· Stay with the topic. Don’t use a current concern as a reason to jump into everything that bothers you. Don’t time travel digging up old wounds from the past and use them as ammunition to fuel the present issue.

· Say, "I’m sorry" when you’re wrong. When you know you messed up, take responsibility. Your beloved still loves you, and it goes a long way in making things right again. People in healthy relationships can admit mistakes, and then move forward.

· Don’t assume things. When we feel close to someone it’s easy to think we know how he or she thinks and feels. Stop that! We are not mind readers. We can be very wrong! Check things out simply by saying, “Baby, what is your opinion?”

· Ask for help if you need it. Talk with someone who can help you find resolution: a counselor, a teacher, a minister, a Rabbi or even parents. Couples in healthy relationships aren’t afraid to ask for help; they are committed to succeeding and are willing to do what it takes to stay healthy.

· There may not be a resolved ending. Realize that both of your viewpoints must be respected and honored without negative repercussions. Be prepared to compromise or to disagree about some things. In a healthy relationship, don’t demand conformity or perfect agreement; do you really want your mate to be exactly the same as you?

· Don’t hold grudges. Grudges are the weeds that kill relationships. You don’t have to accept anything or like your partner’s friends or everything else, but don’t hold grudges—they just drain your energy. Studies show that the more we see the best in others, the better healthy relationships get. To enjoy a healthy relationship, don’t hold on to past hurts and misunderstandings. Let it go; it’s the past. Go and give your honey a kiss.

· The goal is for everyone to be a winner. Seek to build relationships where you both get as much of what you want as possible. Build win-win, proactive, loving relationships. If your partner feels like a loser, did you really win anything? Relationships with winners and losers don’t last. Healthy relationships exist between winners who are solution-oriented and seek out answer to problems together as a couple.

· You can leave a relationship. You can choose to move out of a relationship. Studies tell us that loyalty is very important in good relationships; but healthy relationships are NOW, not some hoped-for future development. No matter the challenge, failure, disillusionment or adversity the two of you are facing, if you work on it together there is nothing you cannot overcome. Warm and loving communication is the key.

Article Source: http://amazines.com

The Silent Treatment

Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

By Margaret Paul, PhD

The silent treatment is a form of punishment, a way to attempt to control your partner into doing what you want him or her to do. It is a withdrawal of approval and can cause much fear in people who are vulnerable to this.

You are giving people the silent treatment when you shut down to them, closing your heart and refusing to interact with them or acknowledge their presence. You act as if they are invisible, not responding to them at all or giving them a very minimal and withheld response. Your hope in treating them this way is that they will get the message that they have displeased you. They have done something wrong in your eyes and deserve to be punished, deserve to have your "love" taken away.

Of course, what you are taking away is not love at all, since love is unconditional. What you are taking away is your approval, which is a powerful form of control.

The Consequences

While it may seem to you to work for the moment, there are huge negative consequences following the silent treatment. Your partner may scurry around to try to please you and get you to reconnect with him or her, but the fact that you have so deeply disconnected creates feelings of heartache in your partner that may eventually lead to the end of the relationship. What seems to work for the moment may lead to exactly what you don't want in the long run.

When Your Partner is Punishing you with the Silent Treatment

What goes on inside you when your partner shuts down to you?

Do you tell yourself you must have done something wrong?
Do you feel a sense of loneliness and heartache that feels unbearable?
Do you feel alone and abandoned inside?
Do you feel anxious and scared?

If you feel any of these, it is really because you are abandoning yourself and making your partner responsible for you. It is you doing this that is allowing the silent treatment to work to control you.

If you were taking loving care of yourself and taking 100% responsibility for your own feelings, here is what would be going on inside:

You would be telling yourself, "My partner is choosing to punish me rather than take responsibility for his or her feelings. Whatever I may or may not have done that he or she doesn't like, I am not responsible for how he or she is dealing with it; and I have no control over him or her.
You would be bringing love inside, letting yourself know that you are a good person and deserving of love.
You would get out of range of your partner's energy—taking a walk, reading a book, calling a friend or doing something else to make yourself happy.
You would keep your own heart open, not going into anger or judgment toward your partner, so that when your partner decides to open again, there is no residue for you. You would not punish your partner for trying to punish you. You would just make sure that his or her punishment doesn't work for them.
You would embrace your loneliness and heartache with deep compassion for yourself, sitting with these feelings for a few minutes and then releasing them.

Eventually, when you are truly taking loving care of yourself, others will stop using the silent treatment, since it will no longer work for them.

Article Source: http://ezinearticles.com